What else could have happened? Car wouldn’t start? House caught on fire? Escaped convict climbed through his bedroom window and tied him with duct tape? Poison eggnog? Or maybe I just didn’t matter to him.

A toast to the birthday boy!′ Myrna shouted. ‘Welcome to the adult world, hon. It’s lonely, it’s miserable, and God help you. But there are bright spots, and nights like tonight are one of them.

There is a separation between parents and children that shouldn’t be breached when the children are young. The parents’ adult follies are private. They’re disturbing and hard to understand. But eventually the kids wise up, the follies start leaking out, and the parents are revealed in all their flawed humanity. Dad and I were about to cross that boundary for good.

I missed him desperately, even though he’d said he hated me, even though his anger – the rampage at his house, the X through his yearbook page, the cruel way he withdrew from everyone – scared me. I didn’t care if he wasn’t my boyfriend, or even my friend. He was my Jonah. I felt more alone without him now than I’d ever felt before I met him. My life had a hole in it.

I just wanted to say something about him, to shoot his spirit out over the airwaves and see what it will do. Maybe he’ll come to one of you and give you something you need. Help you get rid of the blues, or keep the sun from catching you crying. A lot of you believe in ghosts. I’ve heard you say so.

Those antidepressants Dr. Huang gave her were some kind of miracle drug. I considered giving them a try, but I didn’t think they’d work for me. I had no cause to be happy. I felt sad with good reason, and it wouldn’t be right to mess with that feeling. I thought I ought to just stay sad for a while.

This year I have Sister Mary Joseph for Religion. Right away I could tell she was going to become my archenemy. She has a stony face with a mean squint; Clint Eastwood in a wimple. She trained the squint on me and decided I was trouble from the get-go.

I had to admit he looked nice. He has very regular features and straight teeth. I’d just read that even, regular features are universally recognized as beautiful. So no matter what I think of Brooks as a person, I’m genetically programmed to find him attractive. I resent that.

Jonah’s breath came fast and shallow. I reached for his hand. He turned his face to me, his eyes wide with panic. Two frozen ponds. A boy screamed and pounded on the surface, trapped under the ice. Panicking. Trying to break through. But his screams faded, his fists flailed, and he slipped away into the dark. The boy was gone. Nothing left but the ice, clear and smooth enough to skate on.

The whole world is pressing in on me, like a weight on my chest, slowly pushing me down and down. And there’s nothing between me and this weight but my flimsy skin. It’s not enough. It won’t protect me. It doesn’t keep anything out. The outside will keep pressing in until my ribs are crushed, and then my organs, my heart and liver and stomach...